In the glamorous, drama-filled world of high school, finding “the one” isn’t just about hallway crushes or plotting who our prom dates are going to be. No, sometimes the journey for love will lead you down a different path: square tiles, a line of green swinging doors, and—if you’re lucky—a long mirror.
Yes, readers, I am on a journey to find my perfect bathroom match on campus. After a long season of emotional turmoil, it has come down to two final contenders.
Meet the Contestants
In this new season of The Bathelorette, my heart is stuck between two very different campus bathrooms. Each brings something unique to the table, making the decision a challenging one.
Contestant 1: The Elusive Bathroom
Our first contestant is the epitome of the stereotypical shy guy. Tucked away in the upstairs corner of the G-Wing, this bathroom is as mysterious as it is inaccessible. Rarely seen open, it’s the kind of bathroom you have to know about. Even then, no one knows when and why it chooses to open up. With only a couple of stalls, it’s not one to broadcast its availability and definitely plays hard to get.
This exclusivity is tempting. There is always a sense of excitement when you enter this bathroom knowing you are one of the few people who have ever set foot inside. It makes me blush a little, too. This bathroom keeps me content in the stall with the peaceful quietness and subtle air of toilet cleaner at all times, making me feel like there is no other girl to worry about. But one question remains: can I handle a lifetime of waiting for it to open up?
In our one-on-one time, I finally got to experience the hidden bathroom up close. The intimacy was undeniable—it was just me and those few stalls. But the fear always lingers in the back of my mind that it may not be there for me when I need it most. I’m not sure if the lack of communication is something I can handle.
Contestant 2: The Popular, Always-Open Bathroom
If the hidden bathroom is the mysterious stranger, then the popular bathroom is the campus heartthrob—better known as the Playboy of bathrooms. With rows of stalls and cleanliness, it’s always in the K-Wing, ready for anyone who needs it. This bathroom has seen it all and doesn’t judge what type of bowel day you are having. It’s there to offer support and relief throughout all parts of the day.
With fame comes a spotlight on your flaws. Let’s just say, it’s got a bit of a reputation. Everyone knows where it is and it is always crowded. It’s hard not to wonder, ‘am I just like every other girl?’ Sure, while you are in there, it makes you feel like you’re the only one, but saying the same thing to every other girl who enters the door. Indeed charm shines one’s eyes brightly, but can I trust all those stalls to be there when things get messy? Or will he walk away to find another girl?
In our group date, the popular bathroom did what it does best: being reliable, available, and welcoming me in with open doors. Yet, the line outside and the constant hustle and bustle made me question whether I’d ever find the peace and privacy I truly want.
The Final Rose Ceremony
The moment of truth has arrived. Here I am, standing with a rose in hand, ready to make my final decision. The hidden bathroom offers me a mysterious look and a kiss of exclusivity, but the popular bathroom offers its comfortable chest and reliable eyes. I’m torn between the thrill of the chase and the security of an open door.
I take a deep breath, the rose feels heavy in my hand, I step forward with my heart pounding, and…
I choose neither! After all, a girl has to have options. With so many other bathrooms out there, why settle for just one? Today, I’m choosing to stay independent, to explore the many tiled horizons that await me.
The Takeaway
In the end, maybe it’s not about finding one perfect bathroom but enjoying the quirks and perks of all of them, one stall at a time.
So, to the hidden bathroom and the popular bathroom: I’ll see you around campus, but this Bathelorette has decided to keep her options open. After all, the school year is long, and there’s always another bathroom around the corner. For all I know, a new bathroom could turn the triangle into a square sometime soon.
And there you have it, the tale of my bathroom love triangle. Life’s too short to commit to just one set of stalls, so let’s keep it casual. See you in the halls—or maybe outside one of my favorite bathrooms.
