For many, romance is an integral part of the high school experience. It offers the opportunity to explore emotional connections, test romantic boundaries, and learn the responsibilities of commitment. Today’s teenagers grew up surrounded by media creating extreme expectations of commitment, from unrealistic movies like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” to tabloids dedicated to slandering celebrity relationships and breakups.
The constant extremity of advertised relationships—which is only growing due to social media— has ultimately scared Gen Z into turning flaky dating practices into its own relationship culture. The modern-day “situationships” and talking stages, for example, offer all of the potential perks of dating while avoiding commitment.
“Everybody’s just scared of committing nowadays. They’d rather just be uncommitted and hook up,” senior Oliver Loza said.
Many label this phenomenon as merely a teen phase, but the divergence of youth commitment has become a concrete behavioral shift seeping its way into the lives of Gen Z teens and young adults everywhere. Gen Z’s aversion to commitment can mainly be attributed to a dependence on social media and the mental health crisis, both of which were exacerbated by the pandemic.
“Compared to previous generations, we value different parts of relationships differently, and a lot of those values aren’t loyalty,” sophomore Sasha Kourakin said.
A study on the effects of social media on Gen Z users’ behavioral patterns found a direct correlation between social media use and social skills and habits. As users are overloaded with information, their behavioral responses fall into two categories: social media fatigue or fear of missing out. Both of these responses contribute to anxiety and “phubbing,” the practice of ignoring people around you to use your phone.
Though these behaviors existed before the pandemic, lockdown increased social media usage and intensified SMF and FOMO, leading to higher rates of anxiety and depression and less in-person socializing.
“We’re so focused on the internet that we don’t tend to bond with each other,” sophomore Kate Saywell said.
“Technology has impacted trust a lot. It’s hard to trust people,” junior Finn Doherty said.
Dependence on social media for information has also created unrealistic expectations of what relationships should look like. “Social media has created this ideal relationship, and if it’s not this way, then it’s not perfect,” Loza said.
The pandemic devastated the existing dating pool, causing the number of single American adults to increase by 10 to 12 million and also limited romantic experiences during Gen Zs formative years.
“During the pandemic, everyone sat in their rooms. Now everyone wants relationships so they’re with someone and not lonely,” senior Ethan Haun said.
The pandemic was also a stark reminder of the unpredictable nature of the global economy, which was already unstable due to the 2008 recession. Combined with a global decrease in institutional trust post-pandemic, high inflation and cost of living have forced Gen Zers to consider whether settling down—and possibly even having children—is worth it.
“I’d rather spend time and secure a good foundation financially and then be able to have a family after. I think that’s just the only way we could do stuff,” senior Rico Arriaga said.
Many Gen Zers are fed up with the overly complicated relationship culture they have created. “If people met other people in person, that would be better,” Arriaga said.
“People should just be kinder to one another in relationships,” Saywell added.
