After facing a rude awakening at around 1:41 a.m. early Thursday morning, students arrived at school disoriented, spooked, and tired. Conspiracy theories ran wild over the source of the mysterious mass awakening as students discovered others had a similar experience. Panic and fear continue to grip the community as no new discoveries have been made.
“I didn’t think it was too weird until all my friends were talking about how tired they were. That’s when I realized we had all woken up at the same time,” sophomore Ayem Sleepeigh said. “I couldn’t fall back asleep until 3 a.m.”
Other students were puzzled by the cause of their awakening. Some reported hearing an alarm and thinking it was morning, then being bewildered when they realized that it was the middle of the night. Others claim to have felt shaking and vibrations that roused them from their sleep.
Senior Tek Tonich was among those who felt the ground tremble. “I thought a giant person was walking by my house or something,” he said. “It felt like being in Jack and the Beanstalk.”
Students speculated the cause of the incident in what can only be described as conspiracy theories, including, but not limited to, government activities, aliens, and multiple weather-related hypotheses.
“Okay, hear me out,” senior Al Ert said. “What if it was aliens? They had to wake us up so that they could see how we behaved. It was a social experiment to test our unity as a species.”
Similar conspiracies have spread, and some have ascribed to even more sinister speculation.
AP Natural Disasters teacher Annie G. Ullible shared her theory. “It’s a government arms manufacturing company that’s located underground. There’s no other possible explanation for the ground shaking like that,” she said.
Theories about government conspiracies were popular among students as well. “I wouldn’t put it past them to be testing mind control on us, seeing if they can make us all wake up at once,” junior Varie S. Spishus said. “Ever heard of Project MKUltra?”
Whatever the cause of the mysterious incident, it has M-A in disarray. If you have any information about the source of the chaos, please fill out this form to give the administration a tip. Stay safe M-A.
