Satire: I Just Wanted A Rug

1 min read

I wake up in the morning with an overwhelming desire. Oh, how I need a rug! My warm, tender toes strike the brutally cold floor, craving the luxury of a comforting plush rug beneath my feet. Preferably, a Persian one. 

Recognizing the social injustice my toes are victim to, I venture down to Santa Cruz Ave, A.K.A. ‘The Hub’ for rug stores. Overwhelmed by the myriad of rug stores, I break down in tears of joy.

How lucky I am to live so close to the Mecca of rug stores. 

I step inside, taking in the abundance of the treasures. The room stretches on as far as the eye can see. I can’t help but think that the rent must be insane. The market for rugs must be incredibly demanding.

I notice that I am alone. The rest of the customers must still be asleep, gearing up for a long day of rug browsing. That is the only logical explanation for the lack of customers. I beat the crowd—early bird gets the worm! 

The salesman emerges from a backroom as I begin to file through the endless stacks of rugs. He rushes to my assistance, greeting me with a smile, although his hands fidget. This must be his first day on the job!  

After thoroughly checking out the options, I make my pick. I reach towards the rug—my rug, laced with red thread and boasting gold motifs of flowers—when the salesman darts over and tells me that my rug is not for sale. 

Unbothered, I continue browsing, eventually finding another rug I connect with. Strangely enough, once again, the salesman tells me the rug is not for sale and guides me towards the exit. I ask him for recommendations of nearby rug stores, and he tells me that they don’t have rugs for sale either. 

Discouraged, I trudge back home.

The next morning, I wake up, my vulnerable feet facing the assault of the bitterly cold floor once again. After retrieving the morning paper, I settle back in bed, lamenting the lack of rug. I flip through the paper, wishing I was flipping through the luxurious rugs, when an article catches my eye. 


A shiver runs down my spine, encasing my already-cold toes in ice. Oh, how I want a rug! 

Isabel is a senior at M-A. This is her first year in journalism. She is interested in writing about mental health, culture and student life. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with friends, getting coffee at Philz, and watching Shameless.

Kate is a senior at M-A. She enjoys talking to people and hopes to write stories in which she can represent multiple groups and perspectives around campus. In her free time, she likes to read, play volleyball, run track, and spend time with friends.

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